简短的英语笑话大全
发布时间：2025-10-10 | 来源：互联网转载和整理
英语笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。本文是简短的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!
简短的英语笑话：ASmallBoyandaDonkey
小男孩与驴子
A***allboyleadingadonkeypassedbyanArmycamp.Acoupleofsoldierswantedtohavesomefunwiththelad***少年，小伙子***.Whatareyouholdingontoyourbrothersotightfor,sonny?askedoneofthem.
Sohewon'tjointhearmy,theyoungsterrepliedwithoutblinkinganeye.
一个小男孩牵着头驴子穿过部队营房。两名士兵想跟小家伙开个玩笑：小孩，你把你哥哥牵得这么紧干什么?
这样他就不会去参军了。小家伙眼都不眨地回答道。
简短的英语笑话：JohnnyTheGambler
LittleJohnny'sdadwasaretiredgambler.Havingpickedupafewofhisoldman'***adhabits,Johnnywageredonanythingandeverything,andhewasgoodatit.Eventually,itbecamesuchaproblem,thatJohnny'steachercalledhisfathertodiscussit.Afteralongconversation,theydecidedtoteachhimalesson.
OnedayafterclassJohnnyapproachedhisteacher.You'renotreallyblonde,hesaid.I'veseenyourbushandit'spitchblack,youdyeyourhair.
Imostcertainlydonot,shereplied.
Ibetyoutenbucksyoudo,hesaid.
Shesawthatthiswasanopportunitytoteachhimalesson,soshewaitedforalltheotherchildrentoleavetheclassandtookoffherpants,showinghimthatherpubichairwasthesamecolorasthehaironherhead.Johnnypaidherthetendollarsandwalkedsullenlyoutoftheroom.
AfewhourslaterJohnny'steachercalledhisfather.IthinkIfinallytaughthimalesson,shesaid.
Thehellyouhave,hisfathersaidangrily.Thismorninghebetme$50he'dseeyourvaginabeforetheendoftheday.
简短的英语笑话：AirplaneConversation
AstrangerwasseatednexttoLittleJohnnyontheplanewhenthestrangerturnedtotheLittleJohnnyandsaid,Let'stalk.I'veheardthatflightswillgoquickerifyoustrikeupaconversationwithyourfellowpassenger.
LittleJohnny,whohadjustopenedhi***ook,closeditslowly,andsaidtothestranger,Whatwouldyouliketodiscuss?
Oh,Idon'tknow,saidthestranger.Howaboutnuclearpower?
OK,saidLittleJohnny.Thatcouldbeaninterestingtopic.
Butletmeaskyouaquestionfirst.Ahorse,acow,andadeeralleatgrass.Thesamestuff.Yetadeerexcreteslittlepellets,whileacowturnsoutaflatpatty,andahorseproducesclumpsofdriedgrass.Whydoyousupposethatis?
Jeez,saidthestranger.Ihavenoidea.
Well,then,saidLittleJohnny,Howisitthatyoufeelqualifiedtodiscussnuclearpowerwhenyoudon'tknowshit?
简短的英语笑话：NoTemperTantrumsOnThisPlane
Asacrowdedairlinerisabouttotakeoff,thepeaceisshatteredbya5-year-oldboywhopicksthatmomenttothrowawildtempertantrum.Nomatterwhathisfrustrated,embarrassedmotherdoestotrytocalmhimdown,theboycontinuestoscreamfuriouslyandkicktheseatsaroundhim.
Suddenly,fromtherearoftheplane,anelderlymanintheuniformofanAirForceGeneralisseenslowlywalkingforwarduptheaisle.Stoppingtheflusteredmotherwithanupraisedhand,thewhite-haired,courtly,soft-spokenGeneralleansdownand,motioningtowardhischest,whisperssomethingintotheboy'sear.
Instantly,theboycalmsdown,gentlytakeshismother'shand,andquietlyfastenshisseatbelt.Alltheotherpassenger***urstintospontaneousapplause.
AstheGeneralslowlymakeshiswaybacktohisseat,oneofthecabinattendantstoucheshissleeve.
Excuseme,General,sheasksquietly,butcouldIaskyouwhatmagicwordsyouusedonthatlittleboy?
Theoldman***ilesserenelyandgentlyconfides,Ishowedhimmypilot'swings,servicestars,andbattleribbons,andexplainedthattheyentitlemetothrowonepassengerouttheplanedooronanyflightIchoose.
简短的英语笑话：Dogjokes
Q:WhatdoyougetifyoucrossadogwithConcorde?
A:Ajetsetter!
Q:Whatdodogshavethatnootheranimalhas?
A:Puppydogs!
Q:Whydidthedachshundbitethewoman'sankle?
A:Becausehewasshortandcouldn'treachanyhigher!
Q:WheredoEskimostraintheirdogs?
A:Inthemushroom!
Q:WhydidthesnowmancallhisdogFrost?
Becausefrostbites!
Q:Whatdoyougetifyoucrossagiraffewithadog?
A:Ananimalthatbarksatlowflyingaircraft!
Q:Whatdoyoucall***coholicdog?
A:Awhino!
Q:WhatisthedifferencebetweenFatherChristmasandawarmdog?
A:FatherChristmaswearsawholesuit,adogjustpants!
Q:Whenisthemostlikelytimethatastraydogwillwalkintoyourhouse?
A:Whenthedoorisopen!
Q:Whydon'tdogsmakegooddancers?
A:Becausetheyhavetwoleftfeet!